I am in that frame of life where a lot of my friends are having children. Blessed to have married early, I now have a nine and seven-year-old where others my age are just entering the baby stages. Whenever those friends ask me what surprises me most about being a parent, I say that I am surprised at how strict I am, because it really isn’t my personality. If you’ve known me more than a day or two, I’m sure we have shared jokes, laughs, and even, perhaps, a bit of playful banter … so “strict” isn’t something I self-identify with. That being said, my expectations for my children’s work ethic and behavior are pretty up there. After ruminating as to why, it took all of ten seconds to figure out where this learned character trait came from – teaching.
The thing is, there is a very thin line between feeling intrinsically motivated to do your best in a supportive atmosphere, and feeling pushed to achieve as a means of proving your worth. This is something I think we all have struggled with in one phase of life or another, but more and more expectations are being thrust upon our young people to achieve in every facet of life. The danger is, we need to recognize how our children are motivated by expectations. Athlete Kristin Armstrong spoke to this idea when she said, “Some people can shrug expectations off their shoulders like a cardigan, remaining cool and breezy. Others wear them like a parka with a stuck zipper, hot and stifling.” It is a constant battle that the enemy places in our hallways … and one needs only to pass by any conversation to hear comparisons being made. More than ever I feel it is vital to gauge the self-esteem of our young people to be certain they remain confident of who they are in Christ alone. We as educators know the commitment involved with high expectations. The world pushes us to simply, “Accept people for what they are,” whereas education demands that we grow students from where they are. With pressures abounding, I’ve been so blessed to witness the elementary teachers at this school, because they do not simply set high expectations, more importantly, they set their classrooms on the foundation of love.
Romans 12:9 tells us that, “Love must be sincere,” and I can think of no more sincere form of love than when I see these teachers set forth expectations where their students feel both confident and able to achieve great things. The patience, guidance, and dedicated love with which these students are surrounded is quite a cultural shift from the world where your value is only measured by what you achieve. Rest and know that each and every one of your children at Westlake are held to high standards based in love, growth, and the goodness of who Christ is raising them up to be.
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